Hallucinating Halos of Light

He picked me up the first day in the shiniest white Toyota I’d ever seen.

Hallucinating halos of light around him, I knew in my heart: this was the man I would marry. Almost 15 years older, but so handsome, so experienced. We seemed to have everything in common—intellectual passions (both personal and professional), unbreakable bonds with our widowed mothers, and a shared

dream of building an all-American family home. Cruising through the crisp mid-October air, we swapped thoughts and expectations before arriving at Orlando’s downtown library. I’d never even dated before.

He, meanwhile, had recently lost out on a girl named Heidi. After attending a free 3D modeling class, we drove home through the Milk District. Admiring the street art and neighborhood history,

Mik̶͉̋̚e grinned widely. He talked endlessly about books, so our biweekly “dates” shifted to Barnes & Noble. Marriage dreams swirled through my mind; I thought I was in heaven, Ignorance is bliss. Or in this case—a kiss.

Her name was Diane. Emphasis on the DIE. At first, she didn’t look harmful. A government employee and the grandmother of my future children, Ms. Cooper seemed overjoyed when Mike told her I’d proposed. She served me huge slices of homemade pistachio cake during what should have been one of our cozy courtship nights at home. On weekends, we both did laundry and cleaning. Even after I returned from an emergency psychiatric stay, she hugged me. Told me she loved me. Promised I was safe. “What’s mine is yours,” she said. Food, water, shelter, family, a bed—even help looking for work. She was like… a mother-in-law to me.

Somewhere in that 4 month bloody scuffle - my hymen snapped, and someone forced me to fellate them repeatedly. I thought it was my fiancé on top of me when it happened. But he wasn’t my fiancé. Which means

she wasn’t my mother in law either…